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PARODY. HateMyPOS is not a law firm and does not give legal advice. Terry Minal is a fictional character. "Compensation" means a better POS deal, not money.
A public service announcement

Do you hate your POS?

Ripped off by junk fees? Can't reach support? Down on a Friday night?YOU may be entitled to compensation.*

Call 470-722-2-POS. Operators (one very enthusiastic AI) are standing by, day and night.

*Compensation means a POS deal that actually works. Not a check. Terry Minal is not a lawyer. Read the fine print, we actually wrote some.

Terry Minal, the POS Lawyer, a fictional cartoon character pointing at the viewer
Terry Minal, the POS LawyerTerry's TERMINALLY on your side.

Have you or a loved one...

  • been locked out of your own money for months?
  • sat on hold longer than a jury deliberates?
  • found a "PCI non-compliance" fee you never agreed to?
  • signed a card machine lease that costs more than the machine?
  • watched your POS crash during the Friday rush?
  • lost a chargeback with the signed receipt in your hand?
  • been billed for months after you cancelled?
  • seen your rate go up with no warning but your statement?

If you checked even one box, you may have a case. Not a legal case. A "your POS is ruining your life" case. Those we can actually help with.

The Case Files

48 real complaints from real merchants, pulled from forums, review sites and court filings. Each one gets a dramatic reaction and a straight answer.

Exhibit A

Junk fees

My processor charges me a monthly "PCI non-compliance" fee I never agreed to.

Non-compliance? The only thing not complying here is your PROCESSOR.

With us, every fee is in writing before you sign, PCI included, and nothing hides under "miscellaneous." Bring your current statement to a free review and we will point out every fee you are paying for nothing.

I was quoted a rate in the twos. Once the fees pile on, my real cost is way higher.

They quoted you a RATE. They charged you a RANSOM.

The number that matters is your effective rate: total fees divided by total card sales. Our free statement review works yours out from your actual statement. Then we show you every fee in writing for any setup we recommend, so you compare before you sign.

My statement has a dozen fees I cannot decode, and the answer is always "it's in the agreement."

"It's in the agreement" is NOT an explanation. It is a CONFESSION.

We walk you through your agreement line by line before you sign, so every fee on your statement is one you already understand. When a question comes up later, your named account manager answers it, not a script.

My POS added a fee to my customers' online orders without asking me, and I heard about it from angry customers.

They charged YOUR customers and let YOU take the heat? OUTRAGEOUS.

Before you sign, we tell you which fees, if any, your customers would pay on each system we recommend. The pricing program on your card payments is your call: dual pricing, surcharging on credit cards, or neither.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit B

Surprise rate hikes

They raised my processing rate in the middle of my contract, and the only notice was my statement.

A raise? For THEM? Did anybody ask about YOURS?

Our processing is month-to-month with no early termination fee. If a price ever stops working for you, you can walk without paying a penalty. That keeps everyone honest, including us.

They blamed "card network costs," but I think they just padded their own markup.

Blame the card networks? The OLDEST trick in the fee book.

With interchange-plus pricing, the card networks' cost and our markup are separate lines on your statement. When the networks change their rates, you see exactly what changed and who changed it.

The low rate I signed up for was an intro price. It jumped after the honeymoon.

The honeymoon is OVER. And so is this relationship.

Ask any rep one question: what is my price in month thirteen? We put the answer in writing before you sign. And since our processing is month-to-month with no termination fee, you are never stuck with a price you did not agree to.

My software went up and my hardware fees went up, in the same year.

Two hikes in one year? That is not a price increase. That is a HEIST.

Hardware you own cannot get a rent increase. You buy it at or below list price, with a monthly hardware credit when your volume qualifies, and no leases. For software, we show every system's subscription price side by side, so you pick with your eyes open.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit C

Contracts and cancellation

My contract auto-renewed because I missed a notice window nobody told me about.

Renewed WITHOUT your consent? Let the record show: SHAME.

Our processing is month-to-month. There is no multi-year term to renew and no early termination fee to dodge. You stay because it works, not because you missed a deadline.

They quoted me one termination fee on the phone and a much bigger one after I switched.

Changing the number AFTER the fact? Not in MY courtroom.

There is no early termination fee on our processing. Nothing to quote, nothing to change later, nothing to fight about on your way out.

I cancelled and sent everything back, and they kept billing me for months.

Billing a customer who LEFT? That is not a subscription. That is a HAUNTING.

Month-to-month means your processing ends when you end it. And because you buy your hardware instead of leasing it, there is no lease payment that outlives your account.

Closing my processing account did not end my equipment lease. They are two separate contracts.

TWO contracts for ONE card machine? That is not a deal. That is a SEQUEL.

We do not do leases. You buy your hardware at or below list price and it is yours. Your processing agreement is month-to-month, with no early termination fee.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit D

Leases and hardware lock-in

My "affordable" card machine is a four-year lease I cannot cancel. I will pay thousands for a few-hundred-dollar terminal.

Thousands for a card machine? For that money it should come with a CHAUFFEUR.

No leases. Period. You buy the hardware at or below list price, and when your volume qualifies you get a monthly hardware credit toward it. When you are done paying, you are done paying.

My terminal only works with their processor, so switching means buying all new hardware.

Your hardware is being held HOSTAGE. Name your demands!

We sell many systems, so before you buy we tell you which hardware is tied to one processor and which is not. Lock-in should be a choice you make on purpose, not a surprise on your way out.

My business closed and they still want thousands to get out of the lease.

You closed your doors and they are STILL knocking? UNBELIEVABLE.

You cannot owe a lease you never signed. Our hardware is bought, not leased, and our processing is month-to-month with no termination fee. If your business changes, your payment setup does not hold you hostage.

The lease binds me even though the equipment does not do what the rep promised.

Paying for a promise that never showed up? The prosecution RESTS.

We ask how you actually run your business, then match you to a system that fits it, and you buy the hardware outright. No lease means you never spend years paying for equipment that does not fit.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit E

Hardware failures

A terminal died on a Saturday night and the replacement quote was over a thousand dollars.

Dead on a SATURDAY? That is not a malfunction. That is an AMBUSH.

After hours, our partners' 24/7 device support handles hardware emergencies. During business hours you get real people and a named account manager. And because we sell hardware at or below list price, a replacement does not come with a panic markup.

For weeks, support told me to restart the app. Then they admitted it was the hardware.

Have you tried turning your SUPPORT off and on again?

An AI first response handles the quick fixes fast. Behind it are real people during US business hours and a named account manager who already knows your setup, so you are not starting from zero every call.

A software update broke my printers in the middle of dinner service.

An UPDATE? During DINNER? OBJECTION!

Before we recommend a system, we check it works with the printers and kitchen screens you need. And when something breaks, you call a named account manager, not a ticket queue.

My handheld's screen died after three years, and they will not repair it. They only sell a new one.

Three years old and already RETIRED? That device deserved a pension.

We sell many systems, so we can tell you which ones can be repaired and what replacements cost before you buy. And since you buy hardware at or below list price, a replacement is never a surprise invoice.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit F

Support you can't reach

I have been on hold for over an hour, and the callback they promised never came.

An HOUR on hold? I have seen SHORTER jury deliberations.

Real people answer during US business hours, an AI first response gets simple questions answered fast, and you have a named account manager you can reach directly. After hours, our partners' 24/7 device support covers the hardware.

Every time I call I get someone new, and I have to explain everything from scratch.

Explaining the same problem FIVE times? That is not support. That is a HOSTAGE VIDEO.

You get a named account manager: one person who knows your business, your system and your history, with real people behind them during US business hours.

The rep vanished after I signed, and my "account manager" only calls to sell me more.

They loved you until the INK DRIED. A classic heartbreak.

Your named account manager is there after the sale, for questions, fixes and statement check-ups. And if we ever stop earning your business, you can leave: processing is month-to-month with no termination fee.

Their phone line is a robot loop that never reaches a human.

Press 1 for despair. Press 2 for MORE despair.

We use AI for the first response because it is fast, not to hide the humans. Real people answer during US business hours, and you have a named account manager when the robot is not enough.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit G

Outages and offline mode

The system went down during the Friday dinner rush and we could not take cards.

Down on a FRIDAY? Your POS picked the worst possible moment, and I have the RECEIPTS.

Before we recommend a system, we ask what happens when your internet drops, and we explain each system's offline mode in plain words. You pick knowing exactly what still works on a bad night.

"Offline mode" only took cards. Online orders and kitchen tickets still failed.

HALF an offline mode is a FULL disappointment.

Offline modes are not all equal. We spell out what each system can and cannot do offline (cards, online orders, kitchen tickets) before you buy, so the fine print does not show up during service.

A stack of offline card payments all came back declined once we reconnected.

Approved at night. Declined by morning. BETRAYAL.

Offline card payments carry real risk, because a card is not checked until you reconnect. Setup and training are included, so your staff learns how offline mode works on your system and when to use it.

My whole POS falls over every time the internet hiccups.

One hiccup and the whole system FAINTS? Somebody get that POS a doctor.

We match systems to how you work, including how they behave on a weak connection. Setup and training are included, so your staff knows the fallback plan before the first rush, not during it.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit H

Frozen funds and payout holds

My processor froze my money for 90 days and will not tell me why.

YOUR money in THEIR custody, with NO charges filed? Release my client's money!

Nobody can honestly promise a processor will never review an account; risk reviews are part of card processing. What we can promise: you know the rules before you sign, and you have a named account manager to call instead of a "review pending" email.

My account got frozen right after my biggest week ever.

Punished for having a GOOD WEEK? I OBJECT!

Sudden jumps in sales can trigger a risk review. Expecting a big event or a seasonal rush? Tell your named account manager ahead of time, so it is not a surprise to anyone.

They closed my account for selling a legal product, with no notice, and kept my money.

Legal product. Legal business. ILLEGAL vibes.

Some industries, like vape and CBD, count as high-risk. We send those businesses to a specialist partner consultation up front. We do not promise approval, but you will know where you stand before you depend on it.

Card payments show approved but never hit my bank, and every call gets "escalated."

Escalated to WHERE? The MOON?

A missing deposit needs a person, not a queue. Your named account manager is the one who chases it down, and real people answer during US business hours.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit I

Chargebacks

I lose nearly every chargeback, even with a signed receipt.

You brought the EVIDENCE and still lost? This court is RIGGED.

Honest truth: no processor can promise you will win disputes, because the cardholder's bank decides. What helps is setup (the right checks on online and keyed payments) and a named account manager to help you respond on time.

A prepaid online pickup order got charged back. I lost the food, the money and a fee.

They took the FOOD and the MONEY? That is a two-count INDICTMENT.

Online orders are where most card fraud hides. During setup we turn on the security checks your system offers for online payments, and your staff learns what to watch for.

Bar tabs keep turning into disputes because of how pre-authorizations work.

The tab was OPEN. The dispute was ALSO open. Coincidence? I think NOT.

If you run a bar, tab handling is one of the first things we check when matching you to a system: pre-authorization, tip adjustments, and how the final charge shows up on your guest's statement.

I lost the sale and then got hit with a chargeback fee on top.

Lose the sale AND pay a fine? That is DOUBLE JEOPARDY, folks.

Chargeback fees, if a program has them, are in your agreement before you sign, along with every other fee. Your free statement review shows what you are paying for them today.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit J

Integrations and online ordering

My menu will not sync with the delivery apps, so I update everything twice.

Typing your menu TWICE? You run a restaurant, not a court STENOGRAPHY service.

Tell us which delivery apps you use and we check how each system connects to them before we recommend anything. When you switch, menu and inventory migration is free, so nobody retypes your menu by hand.

My POS charges extra every month just to connect to the delivery apps.

A fee to CONNECT? What is next, a fee to BREATHE?

Add-on and integration fees are part of the price, so we list them with everything else before you sign. You compare systems on the full monthly cost, not the headline number.

An integration bug cost me real money, and they turned down my reimbursement.

They ADMITTED fault and STILL said no? Let the record show: COWARDICE.

Nobody can promise bug-free software. We can promise a named account manager who owns the problem with you, instead of telling you to open another ticket.

Cancelled delivery orders never reach my POS, so my books are always off.

Your books are off? Somebody is cooking them, and it is NOT you.

How delivery orders, cancellations and refunds flow into your reports is part of matching you to a system. Before you sign, ask us to show you, and we will.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit K

Sales promises and onboarding

The rep's promises are nowhere in the contract I signed.

Verbal promises? In THIS economy?

If it matters, it is in writing. Your rates, fees and terms are in the agreement you read before you sign. If a promise is not on paper, do not count on it, from anyone, including us.

The rep swore the software was free and my rates would never go up.

"FREE" and "NEVER"? The two most dangerous words in this industry.

We never call hardware or software free, because it never is. You see the real price up front. And instead of promising nothing will ever change, we give you month-to-month processing with no termination fee, so you are never trapped.

My trainer did not show up on opening day.

Opening day and your trainer was a NO-SHOW? I rest my case.

Setup and training are included with every system we set up, done remotely nationwide. Training happens before you go live, so opening day is not the first time your staff sees the system.

Switching systems means rebuilding my whole menu and inventory from scratch.

Retype EVERYTHING? That is cruel and unusual PUNISHMENT.

Menu and inventory migration is free when you switch with us. We move it over, you check it, and your staff gets trained on the new system before it goes live.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Exhibit L

Reporting and data access

My POS sales never match my bank deposits, and my bookkeeper loses hours reconciling.

Your numbers do not add up? Neither does their EXCUSE.

Fees, tips, refunds and batch timing all make deposits look different from sales. Your free statement review shows how your setup gets from one number to the other, and we show you how each system's reports line up with your bank before you pick one.

I have to pay for an add-on just to see whether I made money.

Pay MORE to find out if you are making MONEY? The irony is CRIMINAL.

Reporting varies a lot between systems. We show you which reports are included and which cost extra, as part of the full price you see before you sign.

I cannot easily export my own sales data.

Your data. Your business. THEIR vault? FREE THE DATA!

Before you buy, ask us how to export your data from any system we recommend, and we will show you. Getting your history out matters most on the day you want to leave.

The reports are built for accountants, not for someone running a restaurant.

You need a REPORT, not a code-breaking SQUAD.

Training is included, and part of it is showing you the handful of reports that run your day: sales, labor, best sellers and cash. The rest can wait.

Sound familiar? Your honor, the evidence speaks for itself.

Open my case
Closing argument

Ladies and gentlemen of the small business community

You have heard the evidence. The junk fees. The frozen funds. The hold music you can hum in your sleep. The defense will tell you this is just how POS works.

It is not. There is month-to-month processing with no termination fee. Hardware you own instead of lease. A named human who picks up. And a free statement review that shows exactly what you are paying today.

The evidence is overwhelming. I move for a FREE CASE REVIEW.

Your free case review starts here

A free statement review: we read your current statement, find what you are really paying, and show you better options in writing. No lawyers were harmed in the making of this form.

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